Thursday, March 13, 2014

Top trick for travelers

I've just tried this and it works amazingly well. (Remember that this blog isn't called Wild Fiction for nothing.) I flew to a conference in San Francisco this week and since I was flying on Southwest I opted for the early online check in for an extra $12 which meant that I got priority boarding.

I put on a fat suit (uninflated) and then piled baggy clothing on top of it. While in the waiting area I inflated the suit and tripled my size. I was enormous. It turned out that I had to actually let some of the air out once on the plane as I couldn't quite fit down the aisle. They thought I was farting when they heard it.

I got myself seated near the front and everyone looked at me in disgust as they came past. Nobody sat next to me and at takeoff I farted out the rest of the air and returned to a baggy cloth wearing manipulative evil traveler.