Friday, January 05, 2007

Am I fat?

While I was typing up that last post I could hear a TV report coming from the other room. It was a female reporter and she was saying: "If your wife or girlfriend asks you if you think she is fat what do you say? Well think again because 65% of women polled said they would like to be told the truth."

Right, if you're a complete sucker you're going to fall for that one. There is only one answer to that question and it has to be replied to with lightening speed.

If you need to do this then practise with the computer. I found some software on the Internet which allows me to type in text and the software will then speak out the text that you type in female voice. Get that software (I can't remember what it's called) and record the sentence "am I fat?" or "do I look fat in this?" and then set your scheduler to randomly play it back at you while you are working on the computer. This way it will catch you by surprise the first few times and you will hesitate and stumble over the answer but after a while you'll be able to do it in your sleep - which you might need to do.

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