Sunday, August 20, 2006

The Telemarketing Questionnaire

Yesterday I received a call from a telemarketer selling Dish TV or something like that. I handed it over to my wife because there is a particular channel that she is interested in that our cable company doesn't have. I heard bits of the conversation from my wife's end such as "why do you need to know that?" etc. I felt a bit sorry for the telemarketer because getting personal information out of my wife before you prove that your God's right-hand man is impossible. She's not going to be conned or scammed by anyone over the phone.

In order to ascertain if a telemarketer, "market researcher" or other person calling is a scam or not I've decided to set up questionnaire that I am going to ask them before we start with their part of the call. I'm writing the questions down here so that I remember what I want to ask them and do so in a logical manner.

Me (in reply to their initial question): "For security reasons I need to ask you some questions in order to ascertain that you are who you say you are. I must also warn you that anything that you say may be made publicly available on the Internet. If you do not agree with this condition then please terminate the call now."

1. Can you give me your first and last name (again) please?
2. What is the name of the company that you are calling from?

(Assuming that I'm sitting in from of the computer by that time)
3. What is your company's web address?
4. Where on your company's web site can I find your name listed as an employee?

(My telephone number is both unlisted and on the "do not call" register.)
5. Where did you get my telephone number from?
6. Did you check the "do not call" register before you called this number?
7. What country are you calling from?

(If conducting "market research")
8. Will you at any time during this call try and sell me something?

This list is a work in progress and I'm sure I'll add to it in the future.


Anonymous said...

its work in process, not work in progress.
common error tho.

Guy Ellis said...

I see your 4,040,000 and raise you 49,800,000!

What the hell am I talking about?

A search on Google for "work in progress" returned 49,800,000 results while a search for "work in process" returned 4,040,000.

Correct English is usually defined by common usage, but don't let that stop the abuse. I await your response with a mouth full of worms... :)

Anonymous said...

thats crap. common usage indicates a poorly educated population. its like everyone says 'none of us are going there.' instead of 'none of us is going there.' just cos its more frequently said doesnt make it right.

the work is still being processed, therefore it is work in process. a chick who did her mbl with paul and was my boss when i was consulting told me that, so it must be true.

Guy Ellis said...

Stop beating around the bush and come straight to the point. If you think that it's crap then say so.

You must be wrong. I talked to this guy who was out walking his dog and he knows this guy who lives up north and his cousin has a MbXy from Northern Lights Community College and he says that it's a fact. So it must be true.

Anonymous said...

i stand corrected. sorry.

Alexander said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Telemarketing services said...

That questionnaire I think is a good list. I have been receiving calls from many telemarketing companies. I think those questions are going to be very helpful.

Unknown said...

You've got a great list of questions here. This would really be helpful for the telemarketers out there. I hope when you made some changes, you could also be able to advice us. Thank so much for the share. Keep it up and more power.


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Brand Questionnaire said...

Nice, I will implement your questionnaire, of I get the call from marketing member.