I think that I've identified the best laxative in the world and it's not a drug. It's 100% psychosomatic and controlled by my subconscious. If my subconscious detects that my wife is cleaning the toilet it sends a subversive message to my bowels saying "get ready for action boys." The urge is containable right up until the moment that she finishes the chore.
I try and sneak into the bathroom as soon as she's finished but I'm always caught. "Don't use that, I've just cleaned it. Go and use the toilet in the gym."
It's a tough life.
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